As more and more companies adopt Friday (or Everyday) Casual policies, holey and frayed jeans, tracksuits, flip-flops, jog bras--even pajamas--are creeping into workplace wardrobes. Perhaps it's time to take a close look at what's acceptable for casual--and what's a bad professional judgment call in the average office. Here, a few head-to-toe pointers from those in the know.
Tame your mane
"Big hair may be in, but make sure it does not distract from your face," says Judith Rasband, founder and CEO of the Provo, Utah-based Conselle Institute of Image Management. The same goes for hair color: Keep up with your highlights, but don't go for brassy or unnatural-looking shades, like pink or blue. "Some women don't realize why they're actually turning heads; it's comical."
Vie for best pressed
Invest in an iron or find a good dry cleaner. "If your collar is rumpled, it doesn't matter which designer you're wearing; it tells your supervisor that you couldn't be bothered," Rasband says.
Get the right support
"If you can't wear a bra with it, you can definitely forget it!" says Julie Chaiken, founder and CEO of the San Francisco-based Chaiken clothing line, which caters to sophisticated, urban working women. "You want to make sure that people are paying attention to what you are saying"--not to your breasts!
The same holds true for skintight or midriff-baring clothes, says Colleen Abrie, past president of the San Francisco Bay Area Chapter of the Association of Image Consultants International. "What exactly are you advertising, and is it really for sale?" Abrie asks her clients.
Show your good jeans
While corporate casual has become synonymous with jeans at most offices, shuffling into the office in sandals and torn, faded denim still conveys a sense of sloppiness and disregard. "Keep your look very tailored and polished," Chaiken advises. "Pair up dark jeans with a cute, crisp button-down blazer and nice pumps. Nothing faded, ripped, torn or too low-rise."
Treat your soles right
Similarly, open-toed shoes have become more widely accepted in warm months. "Flip-flops are great--if you work at a pool," Rasband says. "No matter how colorful or embellished, they snap and slap against your heels while you walk, and that's distracting to those working around you."
Instead, Rasband suggests finding a decent pair of microfiber or leather mules. "The strappy platform sandals and kitten-heeled slides are cute, but they're often difficult to walk in," she says. "If we have to walk with mincing steps, we lose our sense of authority."
Dress for tomorrow's success
"It takes just three seconds to form an opinion about someone," Abrie points out, so ask yourself what you want your co-workers to know about you at a glance. "What your wardrobe should not reflect is what nightclub you're headed to later or how much you've been working out to get those six-pack abs."
The bottom line? In a "corporate casual" environment, "corporate" still comes first. "If you look professional and polished, people will treat you with respect," Chaiken says. "Even if you are not in an authoritative position now, you should show that you want to be."
COPYRIGHT 2005 Weider PublicationsCOPYRIGHT 2005 Gale Group
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2007-06-10
The new office politics: we've seen the enemy at work, and sometimes it's us. A look at the pressures that pit Black women against one another
Kimberly L. Bailey had a few butterflies, but the light conversation that the smiling woman made as she escorted her to the conference room made her feel a little less nervous. By the time the twentysomething Bailey sat facing the panel of three a White man, a White woman and a Black woman--she was ready for her interview with the large, highly regarded insurance company. What she didn't expect, however, was the icy reception she got from the sister.
"The two Whites were very pleasant, smiled as we talked, and looked at me," says Bailey, now a pension-program representative for the California State Teachers' Retirement System in Sacramento. "But the Black woman never smiled, only looked at me once, and read from a paper any questions she had for me. She was never rude or disrespectful, but it was almost as if she were intentionally trying not to connect with me. I was told she would be my immediate supervisor if I were hired. I didn't get the job. I thought I had interviewed well, and I know I was qualified, but I remember walking away from the interview wondering if the Black woman was jealous or insecure and just didn't want to work with me. I've Bailey's experience is one that's often repeated, not only in conference rooms across America but also in dorm rooms and classrooms. As far back as childhood, most of us have known sister-haters, or have done our own share of hating. Whether it was that girl in high school with the long hair and the big legs who got all the attention, or the trophy diva who snagged the great catch, or the sister with the M.B.A. who landed a job that put her in the six-figure league, women who seem to have more or to have it better--better education, better man, better looks, better opportunities--have always been targets of our collective jealousies and resentments. But now that we're settling in the corporate workplace in greater numbers than ever before, we have a new stage on which to play out our dramas. There the stakes are even higher because the rewards can be so lucrative, involving as they do money, privilege and perks. To get ahead, we're acting out with behaviors such as not speaking, withholding promotions or information, backstabbing and finger-pointing.
That kind of behavior isn't surprising when it comes from Whites--in fact, we almost expect it.
Think bullied girl Stacie J. from The Apprentice. But when Black women in a predominantly White environment dish it out to one another, we're surprised and doubly hurt. We expect, maybe unrealistically, that because we have the common bond of race and gender, we will automatically have each other's back.
"We've moved away from the mythology of Black women's supporting one another at work because we're now in these corporate environments where it's much more competitive and individualistic," says ESSENCE career columnist Ella Edmondson Bell, an associate professor of business in the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth. "There is literally room for only one [Black female] at the top, and we've all gotten caught up in deciding that 'I'm going to be that one.'" Companies may talk about teamwork, says Bell, but the reality is that it's the individual who gets ahead, sometimes at the expense of other individuals she is working with.
FEAR AND LOATHING IN THE WORKPLACE
Given that we spend a huge chunk of our waking lives at work, it's no wonder the office becomes an arena for some of our most intense personal dramas. "There are so few places where Black women feel affirmed and supported," says Bell. "We're competing for men and for the job, and we often feel unloved and alone. And when you're feeling alienated and wounded, guess what? You may go after that sister on the job who looks better than you, who's got that man or that professional title." That animus can be directed toward peers, superiors or subordinates.
Take the case of Frances Ruffin, a copywriter who was working at a small publishing company in the Northeast that had merged with a larger one. "I was very supportive of a Black female manager in the company who was worried about losing her job with the merger," Ruffin says.
"As a result of the company's downsizing, I had revised a brochure that this woman took with
her to a sales meeting. She made a point of phoning me from the meeting to say the sales staff hated it. This turned out to be a lie. I later learned that the staff actually loved it, and soon realized that this manager often gave me misinformation about things and lied a lot." That kind of behavior, whether caused by insecurity over their own positions or feeling threatened by another sister's skills, is increasingly showing up among Black women in the workplace.
"My Black female boss did less to promote me than any of the White bosses I ever worked with," says Tracy Samms (not her real name), a producer at a national radio news station. "She [the boss] was a senior producer who came up the hard way, when there were few Blacks in the newsroom. She didn't want anyone to think she was giving me special privileges because we were both Black. The thing is, once I got out from under her I was promoted twice in one year by a White woman who had no fear of giving me an opportunity."
"The two Whites were very pleasant, smiled as we talked, and looked at me," says Bailey, now a pension-program representative for the California State Teachers' Retirement System in Sacramento. "But the Black woman never smiled, only looked at me once, and read from a paper any questions she had for me. She was never rude or disrespectful, but it was almost as if she were intentionally trying not to connect with me. I was told she would be my immediate supervisor if I were hired. I didn't get the job. I thought I had interviewed well, and I know I was qualified, but I remember walking away from the interview wondering if the Black woman was jealous or insecure and just didn't want to work with me. I've Bailey's experience is one that's often repeated, not only in conference rooms across America but also in dorm rooms and classrooms. As far back as childhood, most of us have known sister-haters, or have done our own share of hating. Whether it was that girl in high school with the long hair and the big legs who got all the attention, or the trophy diva who snagged the great catch, or the sister with the M.B.A. who landed a job that put her in the six-figure league, women who seem to have more or to have it better--better education, better man, better looks, better opportunities--have always been targets of our collective jealousies and resentments. But now that we're settling in the corporate workplace in greater numbers than ever before, we have a new stage on which to play out our dramas. There the stakes are even higher because the rewards can be so lucrative, involving as they do money, privilege and perks. To get ahead, we're acting out with behaviors such as not speaking, withholding promotions or information, backstabbing and finger-pointing.
That kind of behavior isn't surprising when it comes from Whites--in fact, we almost expect it.
Think bullied girl Stacie J. from The Apprentice. But when Black women in a predominantly White environment dish it out to one another, we're surprised and doubly hurt. We expect, maybe unrealistically, that because we have the common bond of race and gender, we will automatically have each other's back.
"We've moved away from the mythology of Black women's supporting one another at work because we're now in these corporate environments where it's much more competitive and individualistic," says ESSENCE career columnist Ella Edmondson Bell, an associate professor of business in the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth. "There is literally room for only one [Black female] at the top, and we've all gotten caught up in deciding that 'I'm going to be that one.'" Companies may talk about teamwork, says Bell, but the reality is that it's the individual who gets ahead, sometimes at the expense of other individuals she is working with.
FEAR AND LOATHING IN THE WORKPLACE
Given that we spend a huge chunk of our waking lives at work, it's no wonder the office becomes an arena for some of our most intense personal dramas. "There are so few places where Black women feel affirmed and supported," says Bell. "We're competing for men and for the job, and we often feel unloved and alone. And when you're feeling alienated and wounded, guess what? You may go after that sister on the job who looks better than you, who's got that man or that professional title." That animus can be directed toward peers, superiors or subordinates.
Take the case of Frances Ruffin, a copywriter who was working at a small publishing company in the Northeast that had merged with a larger one. "I was very supportive of a Black female manager in the company who was worried about losing her job with the merger," Ruffin says.
"As a result of the company's downsizing, I had revised a brochure that this woman took with
her to a sales meeting. She made a point of phoning me from the meeting to say the sales staff hated it. This turned out to be a lie. I later learned that the staff actually loved it, and soon realized that this manager often gave me misinformation about things and lied a lot." That kind of behavior, whether caused by insecurity over their own positions or feeling threatened by another sister's skills, is increasingly showing up among Black women in the workplace.
"My Black female boss did less to promote me than any of the White bosses I ever worked with," says Tracy Samms (not her real name), a producer at a national radio news station. "She [the boss] was a senior producer who came up the hard way, when there were few Blacks in the newsroom. She didn't want anyone to think she was giving me special privileges because we were both Black. The thing is, once I got out from under her I was promoted twice in one year by a White woman who had no fear of giving me an opportunity."
you can change
STANLEY SCHACHTER WAS PUZZLED. A researcher at Columbia University, Schachter was well versed on the studies of weight-loss and smoking-cessation programs. According to the research, only 10 to 30 percent of the people who participate in those programs are still slender or nonsmoking one year later. Ten to 30 percent. That ain't much.
These studies prompted some researchers and therapists to assert it’s nearly impossible to stop smoking or control one’s weight permanently.
What puzzled Schachter was that most of the people he knew who wanted to lose weight or quit smoking had somehow been able to do it successfully. He conducted some interviews of his colleagues and friends, and it confirmed his hunch: Those who had tried had succeeded.
He has now spent over twenty years doing research on this, and he has concluded that the key to success in changing long-standing habits is practice. According to his research, people who have successfully quit smoking have tried and failed a number of times before they finally succeeded. The same was true about losing weight. Apparently you have to learn how to keep the change, and after you learn how, it begins to become a new part of yourself that eventually requires very little active effort to maintain.
That’s why the studies of weight-loss programs and stop-smoking studies look so bleak: Each is a study of only a single attempt. Schachter found that the more times you go through one of these programs, the more likely the change will be permanent.
So if you have tried to change and failed, try again. And keep trying. You can change...and you can learn how to keep the change. All you need is practice.
Keep persisting until the change you want happens.
Author: Adam Khanthis is a chapter from the book Self-Help Stuff That Works
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